Controlling The Mind 101: Overcoming negative thought
Our Controlling the Mind 101 series will help you to improve your life and your performance. Image credit: Dingzeyu Li
By far the biggest challenge that human beings face is the ability (or rather lack of) to control the mind. Yet it is the cause of much of our human suffering, as we have discussed before.
We go to school, then some to University and we stuff our brains full of information, much of which when we reach the world of work, we may never use again. We are taught to read and write, to use a computer, and the application of knowledge. Schools have not added as part of the curriculum training which helps students to control their thinking: to learn to use the mind to work for them rather than against them.
I read a great book about 20 years ago “you can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought” by John Rogers and Peter McWilliams. This book opened my mind to the destructive force that thoughts have on our wellbeing.
Here is a synopsis of the book from Amazon:
Negative thinking is seen as a debilitating illness that will slowly kill your spirit - and for some people lead to actual physical disease. Happily, though, this is not a doom-filled book at all! The authors show how to: eliminate the negative - spend less time thinking ‘down’ and negative thoughts; accentuate the positive - spend more time focusing on the positive things in your life; and latch on to the affirmative - enjoy each moment! It contains inspirational, funny, and moving quotes. This book was written in part specially for those who have been diagnosed with severe illness. Negative thinking drags you down - whilst a truly positive approach will have a positive effect on your whole self - thus promoting good physical health. This title shows you how to focus on the positive
Our minds are always working, even when we sleep, when thoughts may be slowed. Our thoughts affect our brain waves which in turn have an impact our physiology. Our brain waves can be split into four types:
Theta: which are the most common in sleep.
Alpha: dominant during quietly flowing thoughts and can be achieved during meditation. This is also called the “Now” thoughts i.e. as Eckhart Tolle says, being in the present. Alpha is great for overall wellbeing. Alpha is the resting state for the brain. Alpha waves aid overall mental coordination, calmness, alertness, mind-body integration and learning.
Beta brainwaves are what you are using now to read this blog, to do your work and are associated with normal waking state and for performing cognitive tasks. Beta waves are great at problem solving, focused attention and decision-making activities. When we are in a state of stress or fear, i.e. flight fight freeze, we use high Beta.
Gamma Waves: Until recently scientists believed that high Beta was the highest frequency. Then through deeper understanding, they classified Gamma Brainwaves. These are believed to be the higher frequency thoughts that are of a higher vibration and are associated with Spiritual Development. This is ideally where we all need to have access to.
Observing your thoughts
So how do we start to control our thoughts and start to use them to work with us rather than against us? Take a simple example. ‘It’s raining today’ That is a statement of fact, it is raining today. It is what we then do with that thought. Well it can often go like this “Again! It’s raining again, god how I hate the rain, I have a tear my raincoat which lets the rain in and the last time I wore it, I was wearing my new silk pink blouse and it the water made a mess of it because of the green dye from that crappy raincoat, I should really take it back to Conleys to get a refund, I bet they will ask for the receipt, oh god where did I put it? Oh I hate myself as I am so disorganised, and I bet the train will be late, a leaf on the track, or whatever silly excuse the rail company will come up with and I didn’t call my brother back and did I get enough cat food..” Does this sound familiar?
A simple thought turns into a drama, most of which was in the past or hasn’t happened yet. The drama, of course our ego loves! More fuel for the pain body. It is our unfettered thoughts that have caused all of this waste of energy, so imagine or even remember back to a time when you had something serious in your life and the thoughts that may have kept you awake for days, weeks, months and simply took over your life.
Therefore, when the thought first appears in your mind “it’s raining” observe the thought and leave it as exactly that thought. If you feel your mind is then engaging in the dialogue simply say to yourself “stop” and draw your attention to your breath and that will bring you into the now.
This of course takes practice. Remember, you already know how to do it. You have just forgotten. When you give a young child (circa 4 years old), a cake, they simply take, hopefully say thank you and eat it. They trust you.
They don’t turn around and say “Mum, where did you buy this from, how much did it cost, did you get value for money, is it within the sell by date, did the person who put it a bag have gloves on?” In my experience children say what they think, so if they are thinking this you would certainly receive the barrage of questions. No, they simply think “cake, yummy” and eat it.
Of course, the example given of ‘it’s raining’, is a simple one, there are more complex issues to cause us to overthink and you have to start somewhere.
Evaluating your thoughts
So, having observed your thoughts, then stopped the thought in its tracks, the next step is to evaluate the quality of the thought. Our mind are constantly judging the world. If you in a networking event or even a social event, your mind will be generating hundreds of thoughts, from what people are wearing, to how they are coming across, what they are trying to sell you, what they are saying, and so on. This may well be a function of the amygdalae nuclei (flight, fight, freeze system in us) which is constantly evaluating the possibility of a threatening situation and you have set the parameters by which it responds; i.e. “new situations are threatening to me”.
So, the next step is evaluating the thoughts, and simply asking yourself:
Is this thought process working for me, or against me?
Is it beneficial to me, or detrimental?
Is it taking me towards me goal or away from my goal?
Is it a wholesome thought or a toxic one?
Let’s say it’s your annual review at work in a couple of days and you are hoping for salary increase or bonus or at least at a bigger, better title. If you allow your thoughts to run a mock, your mind will create all sorts of terrible outcomes, and before you know it the day comes for your review and your body is tight with tension, your face red from anger and you are ready for a fight, or your enter the room trembling like a mouse, or you get so upset that you call in sick.
Now use your thought to work with you and image the meeting exactly as you wish it to be. When the time goes for the review, your will be relaxed and alert, positive and optimistic. In the event that the review doesn’t go as you wished or imagined it to be, you have not put your mind body and emotions through unnecessary torture.
Remember that we choose our thoughts, they don’t choose us!
I remember about 10 years ago, two ladies come to see me separately for healing and counselling. Both had breast cancer, in exactly the same area of the breast, they were under the same oncologist, using identical protocols of medicine. The Doctor delivered the same prognosis giving them 6 months to live.
One lady immediately gave up and sure enough, 6 months almost to the day, she died.
The other lady is still alive! I recall her telling me “who the hell does he think he is (the Doctor) he is not God! My daughter has just had a daughter, my first grandchild. We all seem to marry young, I was 16 years when I got married and my daughter was 16 years when she got married. I am planning to be around to see my granddaughter getting married at 16 years old.”
The first lady used all of her thoughts to talk herself in to a grave, and there was no amount of support from her very loving family and me, that would change her mind. She wasn’t planning to live beyond 6 months, undoubtedly her thinking played a major role.
Your thoughts are living energy, they are alive and in you, so you really can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought!
We will talk more about controlling your thoughts over the coming months. Yugen is here to support and guide you on your human and spiritual journey, to give guidance with life’s challenges and to bring about positive change in the world by starting with the individual, by starting with you.
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